When you and/or your partner have decided that divorce is the best solution, the mediation process can be an effective way to reach a good and respectful settlement. Mediation helps you make arrangements together without the stress of a legal battle. But what does such a process look like? In this article, we explain the 10 most important steps in a mediation process for divorce.

1. No-obligation introductory meeting

Before the mediation process begins, it is important to meet your mediator. This meeting is without obligation and gives you the opportunity to see whether mediation is the right approach for your divorce. The mediator explains the ground rules and answers all your questions about the process.

2. Receipt of the documents

When you decide to proceed with mediation, the mediator will send you the necessary documents. These include the mediation agreement and the code of conduct that applies to the mediator. Once this agreement has been signed, everything discussed during the mediation is subject to confidentiality.

3. First mediation session

In the first substantive session, the most important matters are discussed and an agenda is drawn up. This ensures that you can set priorities step by step and work on the topics that are important to you.

4. Sharing your story

The first session offers both partners space to tell their story. The mediator will ask questions to bring out all relevant information and ensure that both parties are heard. This is a crucial part of the process because it helps create an open and honest dialogue.

5. Exploring needs and interests

The mediator will focus on identifying your needs and interests. What do you hope to achieve with mediation? What are your concerns? These questions help to gain insight into what is important to both parties, and to develop understanding of each other’s positions.

6. Communicating with each other

In a divorce, communication is often disrupted. With the mediator’s help, you will learn to talk to each other again and to listen to one another. The mediator ensures that the conversation proceeds respectfully and that emotions do not hinder the dialogue.

7. Exploring options

Now that communication has been restored, you can explore all possible options and solutions together with the mediator. What are the best arrangements for your future? By brainstorming openly, you can arrive at creative and appropriate solutions. If necessary, the mediator can call in experts such as an accountant or tax specialist for additional advice.

8. Negotiating

The options are further discussed and worked out. Sometimes this can lead to negotiations, which is normal at this stage. It is important to be honest and clear in your communication, without attacking the other person personally. The mediator ensures that the negotiations remain constructive and respectful.

9. Formalizing agreements

When you have reached agreement on all important matters, the agreements are recorded in a divorce settlement. If you have children, a parenting plan is also drawn up. The mediator ensures that everything is put on paper so that your divorce is properly arranged.

10. Finalization with the court and municipality

The mediator can handle the entire process, including filing the divorce petition with the court. If the mediator is also a lawyer, they can handle the divorce at court themselves. If not, a lawyer will be brought in to take care of the legal process. Once the court has approved the divorce, it becomes official.

Need help with mediation?

Our experienced mediator-lawyers at Arslan Advocaten specialize in divorce mediation. We carefully guide you through the entire process and ensure that all agreements are documented in a respectful and legally sound manner. Feel free to contact us for more information.