When you and/or your spouse have decided that divorce is the best solution, the mediation process can be an effective way to come to a good and respectful settlement. Mediation helps you to come to agreements together without the stress of a legal battle. But what does such a process look like? In this article we explain the 10 most important steps of a mediation process in divorce.
1. Non-committal introductory meeting
Before the mediation process begins, it’s important to get acquainted with your mediator. This conversation is non-committal and gives you the opportunity to see if mediation is the right approach for your divorce. The mediator will explain the rules and answer all your questions about the process.
2. Receiving the documents
When you decide to proceed with mediation, the mediator will send you the necessary documents. These include the mediation agreement and the code of conduct applicable to the mediator. As soon as this agreement is signed, everything discussed during the mediation is under a confidentiality obligation.
3. First mediation discussion
The first substantive discussion is about the main issues and an agenda will be drafted. This ensures that you can set priorities step by step and work on the topics that are important to you.
4. Sharing your story
The first conversation gives both partners the opportunity to tell their story. The mediator will ask questions to get all relevant information and ensure both parties are heard. This is a crucial part of the process as it helps to create an open and honest dialogue.
5. Exploring needs and interests
The mediator will focus on discovering your needs and interests. What are you hoping to achieve with mediation? What are your concerns? These questions help in understanding what’s important for both parties and to develop understanding for each other’s points of view.
6. Communicate with each other
In a divorce, communication is often disrupted. With the help of the mediator, you learn to talk and listen to each other again. The mediator ensures that the conversation is respectful and that emotions do not hinder the dialogue.
7. Inventorying options
Now that communication has been restored, you can, together with the mediator, explore all possible options and solutions. What are the best arrangements for your future? By brainstorming openly, you can come to creative and suitable solutions. If necessary, the mediator can engage experts such as an accountant or tax consultant for additional advice.
8. Negotiating
The options are further discussed and elaborated. Sometimes this can lead to negotiations, which is normal in this phase. It’s important to be honest and clear in your communication without personally attacking the other. The mediator ensures that negotiations remain constructive and respectful.
9. Recording agreements
When you have reached agreement on all important matters, the agreements are recorded in a divorce covenant. If you have children, a parenting plan is also made up. The mediator ensures that everything is put in writing, so that your divorce is well arranged.
10. Settlement at the court and municipality
The mediator can handle the entire process, including filing the divorce application with the court. If the mediator is also a lawyer, he can handle the divorce case in court himself. If not, a lawyer is engaged to handle the legal settlement. Once the court has ratified the divorce, the divorce becomes official.
Need help with mediation?
Our experienced mediator-lawyers at Arslan Lawyers specialize in divorce mediation. We guide you carefully through the entire process and ensure that all agreements are recorded in a respectful and legal manner. Please feel free to contact us for more information.
