Separating calls for arrangements that are legally sound and work in daily life. Arslan Advocaten helps clients from Delft with divorce and separation, division of assets, maintenance and questions concerning children. Through our office in The Hague we discuss your position, the urgent choices and the further approach.
Discuss your situation with Arslan Advocaten. Mention straight away if a deadline is approaching.
Separating in Delft: which rules apply to you?
The legal principles differ between a marriage, a registered partnership and cohabitation. Within those forms, too, prenuptial terms or agreements can make a difference. So start with the documents that record your relationship and financial arrangements. A jointly owned home does not, for example, automatically mean that all assets are joint.
We map out which issues are connected and which can be settled separately. Perhaps you agree on ending the relationship, but not yet on a buy-out or the care of children. That calls for a different approach from a dispute about the implementation of an earlier divorce settlement agreement (convenant). A first meeting helps to define the right question.
Also make clear what you need in the short term. A safe place to live, an arrangement for school days or access to essential funds may be more urgent than the final division. Temporary arrangements can give room to gather the remaining documents carefully, provided it is clear what is being settled provisionally and what definitively.
The home: staying, taking over or selling
With an owner-occupied home, use of the home and ownership must be looked at separately. The fact that you stay in the home for the time being does not automatically mean that you can take it over. Value, mortgage, income and any contribution from private funds play a role. Have the financial feasibility investigated before you fix a buy-out amount as the final solution.
An agreement between the two of you does not automatically bind the lender. If you are both liable for the mortgage, it must be examined how that liability ends upon a takeover. If financing is not possible, an agreement to sell may be needed. In that case, also record how the sale, costs, viewings and interim expenses will be arranged.
With a rented home, we look at who the tenant is, the tenancy agreement and any statutory rights. Who may continue living there and who remains bound towards the landlord are not always the same questions. Bring the tenancy agreement and correspondence. Also state whether someone has already moved out or given notice, as this may be relevant to the assessment.
Ending cohabitation is not the same as divorce
Unmarried cohabitants do not automatically have the same property law position as married couples. A cohabitation agreement and arrangements about joint purchases can be decisive. Even without an extensive agreement, ownership, loans and contributions to the home must be examined carefully.
Make an overview of what each of you contributed and how payments were made. Keep bank statements, notarial deeds and messages in which arrangements were confirmed. A joint account does not in itself determine how all amounts paid into it should be treated when one of you leaves. The intention behind payments and their legal basis may be relevant.
If there are children, arrangements about care and maintenance must be looked at separately. The absence of a marriage does not remove those questions. State how recognition and parental authority have been arranged and which arrangements already exist. That way we avoid financial issues between partners being confused with obligations towards children.
Divorce lawyer: from arrangements to formal completion
A divorce requires a petition filed through a lawyer. A joint petition may be appropriate if the parties reach agreement. If that does not work, it is examined which requests must be submitted unilaterally. The proceedings must match the issues still outstanding, such as maintenance, the home or the division of assets.
Drawing up a divorce settlement agreement (convenant) is not just about the large amounts. Implementation dates, exchange of information, division of costs and the conditions under which arrangements take effect are also important. A clear text prevents the parties from having different ideas after signing about what still needs to be done.
The court decision and the required registration are separate steps. We discuss the formal completion and who takes action for it. On the divorce page you will find more about the process. An agreement that you ‘are living apart from today’ is not the same as a legally completed divorce.
Children: continuity of school, care and contact
A parenting plan must suit the needs of the children and the possibilities of the parents. First describe the existing rhythm: school, childcare, activities and care moments. Then work out how this will be organised after the separation. This shows which practical problems need to be solved.
For parents from Delft, the choice of a new place to live can affect travel time and handovers. Do not just record how many days a child stays with each parent, but also who picks up and drops off and what happens in case of illness or unexpected changes. The aim is an arrangement that remains workable outside an ideal week as well.
Make arrangements about information and consultation. Which messages are shared, through which channel and within what period? Important decisions and everyday coordination sometimes call for a different approach. A clear communication structure can help prevent every practical change from growing into a conflict about the entire care arrangement.
Parental authority, choice of school and international questions
Parental authority must be established before it can be assessed who may take which decisions. A division of care does not automatically answer that question. For a choice of school, a relocation or another important decision, consent may be required. Have this checked in good time, especially if the parents disagree.
In international family situations, residence, nationality, foreign certificates and earlier decisions may play a role. So state straight away whether a partner or child lives abroad or wants to move abroad. A Dutch arrangement is not necessarily enforceable in the same way everywhere without further assessment.
Do not book a move or take another far-reaching step on the assumption that consent can be arranged later. Describe the plan, the consequences for the child and any alternatives. That way it can be examined which legal route is needed before practical commitments complicate the situation.
Child maintenance and spousal maintenance
Maintenance involves different types of claims, each with its own conditions. An amount must be substantiated with current data and the correct assumptions. Gather information on income, tax data, existing obligations and the division of care. With a fluctuating income or self-employment, a longer period may be needed to obtain a usable picture.
A proposed amount cannot be properly assessed without knowing what the calculation is based on. So ask about the assumptions and underlying figures. Arrangements about special costs also deserve attention: what is included in the monthly amount and what is shared separately? Lack of clarity on this can later lead to recurring disputes.
If an arrangement already exists, it must be examined whether it can be changed and from when. A different income does not automatically mean that you may pay less. The Dutch judiciary (Rechtspraak) describes how a maintenance dispute can be brought before the court. We first discuss whether consultation and a new calculation may be sufficient.
Division of assets, debts and pension
Draw up a joint inventory of assets and debts, even if you still disagree about the division. A complete overview is something different from agreeing to the other party’s claim. List accounts, loans, the home, valuable possessions and any tax liabilities.
Which items are joint or private depends on the applicable regime and agreements. Prenuptial agreements, conditions attached to gifts and the origin of payments can make a difference. A recollection of a payment is less clear than the original statements and agreement. We discuss which items require evidence and where a practical arrangement is possible.
Pension must be looked at as a separate issue. Check which rights exist and which steps or notifications are required. Do not adopt a broad waiver or discharge clause without an assessment. Precisely the issues that are not very visible now can have financial consequences later.
When consultation stalls or there is urgency
A disagreement becomes easier to handle once it is clear what exactly is disputed. Is it the value of the home, the division of care or the assumptions behind maintenance? A specific proposal with supporting documents can narrow the discussion. We discuss whether negotiation, mediation or proceedings is the appropriate route.
With acute problems, a temporary decision may be necessary. Think of essential use of the home or a financial contribution while the main case is still pending. State what consequences arise if nothing happens. The legal route and the required substantiation differ per situation; ‘urgency’ must be more than the wish to get things over with quickly.
If you have received court documents, report the date of receipt straight away and send the complete document. Consultation does not automatically suspend a time limit. In case of immediate danger, safety comes first and you call 112. After that, it can be examined which legal steps can offer protection or clarity.
Costs and your first meeting for Delft
We agree in advance what assistance is needed: advice, negotiation, working out arrangements or proceedings. The costs depend on that. Subsidised legal aid (toevoeging) may be available under certain conditions; income, assets and the type of case are then assessed. Court fees and other external costs are also discussed.
For clients from Delft, contact can be arranged through our office in The Hague. Indicate when an appointment or decision needs to take place and which documents are available. A short timeline and the most important documents are often a good start; you do not need to supply all the correspondence from your relationship unfiltered.
You will find more explanation of the topics on our family law page. In your own case, we look at which next step contributes most to clarity and a workable arrangement. The interests of the children and the longer-term consequences of arrangements remain part of the assessment.
Frequently asked questions about family law in Delft
I live with my partner without a contract. Can you help with separating?
Yes. In that case we examine, among other things, ownership, payments, the home and any arrangements concerning children. The absence of a contract does not mean that all legal questions have resolved themselves.
Can I buy my partner out of the home?
That depends on ownership, value, mortgage and whether it can be financed. Release from liability by the lender must also be examined. An agreement between the two of you alone is not sufficient.
What if we only disagree about the children?
Then the assessment can focus on that issue. We look at the existing arrangements, the parental authority situation and practical proposals, without automatically reopening all financial arrangements.
Is a maintenance amount final forever?
Not necessarily. A change may be possible under certain conditions, but it does not happen automatically. Have the original arrangement and the new circumstances assessed together.
Where can I go from Delft?
You can submit your question through our office in The Hague. When you contact us, we agree which form of consultation is appropriate and who can handle your case.
Request an assessment of your situation. We discuss the next steps and the agreements on costs.