Divorce: how it works, what you have to arrange and what to watch out for

Written by Gülcan Alkilic, family lawyer at Arslan Advocaten. Registered in the legal practice areas register of the Netherlands Bar for persons and family law. Last updated: 31 August 2026.

How does a divorce work in the Netherlands?

A divorce is pronounced by the court on an application filed by a lawyer, and it only takes effect at the moment the order is entered in the registers of births, deaths and marriages. Until that last moment you are still simply married, even if the court has already pronounced the divorce.

The statutory ground is short. Article 1:150 of the Dutch Civil Code provides that a divorce is pronounced "at the request of one of the spouses or on their joint request". The only ground is irretrievable breakdown: article 1:151 speaks of divorce "if the marriage has irretrievably broken down". There is no question of fault, no proof of adultery and no waiting period. Anyone who states that the marriage has irretrievably broken down is as a rule granted the divorce — precisely because the fact that one of the two maintains this generally demonstrates the breakdown.

The route in steps:

1. Orientation and choice of track. Do you go together to one lawyer or mediator, or does each of you take their own lawyer? This choice determines the rest of the process.
2. Provisional measures if necessary. If things get stuck at home, the court can arrange for the duration of the proceedings who stays in the home, where the children live and what is paid (articles 822 and 823 of the Code of Civil Procedure). Under article 821(2) the hearing starts "no later than in the third week following that in which the measure was requested". If you request that measure before the divorce application, that application must follow within four weeks of the date of the order, otherwise it loses its force (article 821(4)).
3. Parenting plan. With minor children this must be enclosed with the application (article 815(2) of the Code of Civil Procedure).
4. Divorce covenant. The arrangements about assets, the home, pensions and spousal maintenance are recorded in a divorce covenant.
5. Filing the application with the court, with the annexes in article 815(5) of the Code of Civil Procedure: the marriage certificate, the children’s birth certificates and the documents on jurisdiction.
6. Defence or no defence. With a joint application there is no defence. With a unilateral application the other spouse is given the opportunity to file a defence and to make requests of their own.
7. Hearing, if one is needed. With a fully settled joint application a hearing is often dispensed with.
8. Order. The court pronounces the divorce and decides on the ancillary relief in article 827 of the Code of Civil Procedure: maintenance, division of the community or set-off, parental authority, primary residence, the care arrangement and continued use of the home.
9. Entry in the register. The order is entered in the register of births, deaths and marriages of the municipality where you married. Only then has the marriage ended (article 1:163(1) of the Dutch Civil Code).

Source: Book 1 of the Dutch Civil Code and the Code of Civil Procedure, wetten.overheid.nl.

Note the forfeiture period for the entry. Article 1:163(3) of the Dutch Civil Code: "If the request for entry has not been made at the latest six months after the day on which the order became final, the order loses its force." Anyone who lets those six months pass is still married and has to go through the whole procedure again. This goes wrong in practice more often than you would think, usually because the parties are still arguing about a remaining point after the ruling.

Can I divorce without a lawyer?

No. A divorce runs through an application to the court, and under article 815(1) in conjunction with article 278(3) of the Code of Civil Procedure that application must be signed by a lawyer. You cannot arrange the divorce at the municipality or at a civil-law notary, and you cannot file the application yourself either.

What you can do is engage one lawyer or one mediator together. That is the cheapest and as a rule the fastest route: one professional guides you both, draws up the parenting plan and the covenant and files the joint application. With a mediator who is not a lawyer, the application is still filed by a lawyer. Source: Dutch government, applying for a divorce.

The downside of one joint lawyer is that they may not take sides. They can explain to you both what the law says, but they cannot negotiate for one against the other. As soon as there is a real difference of interest — about the value of a business, about whether someone can work, about the division of care — a joint lawyer is no longer appropriate. In that case they withdraw and you continue with two lawyers after all, with a loss of time and money.

Our experience: choose one lawyer when you agree on the main points and only the detail still has to be worked out. Choose two as soon as there is one subject on which you fundamentally disagree. It is cheaper to acknowledge that at the start than halfway through.

What you can end without a lawyer is a registered partnership without joint children — but even there a lawyer or notary has to countersign the termination declaration. See the section on the registered partnership further on.

How long does a divorce take?

There is no statutory time limit on divorce proceedings; the duration is determined by the extent to which you agree, and only after that by the court. A fully settled joint application is usually a matter of months; a case in which parental authority, maintenance and assets are litigated takes considerably longer as a rule, certainly if an expert or the Child Care and Protection Board becomes involved.

The Judiciary itself gives no average but a range: "The divorce procedure takes a minimum of 6 weeks to more than 1 year, depending on how quickly you reach agreement with each other about the divorce." Source: the Judiciary, divorce procedure. Treat that as a range and not as an expectation: we deliberately give no average in weeks here, because processing times differ per court and per period and an average you read elsewhere is almost always out of date or taken out of context. Current processing times can be consulted at rechtspraak.nl.

What actually determines the duration in your case:

What you can speed up yourself: supplying complete financial documents in one go, and limiting the discussion to the points that really matter. Cases rarely get stuck on the legal dispute; they get stuck on missing annual accounts, a valuation nobody orders and an exchange of emails that leads nowhere.

Divorce on joint or unilateral application: what is the difference?

With a joint application you and your partner file one application together in which you ask the court to confirm your arrangements; with a unilateral application one of you files the application and the other is given the opportunity to defend and to make requests of their own. The outcome — a pronounced divorce — is the same; the difference lies in pace, cost and the extent to which you determine the content yourselves.

The most important consequence is substantive, not procedural. With a joint application your arrangements are in a covenant and you keep control. With a unilateral application the court decides, and it decides on the documents it receives — not on what you had intended. A court that has to rule on the division of care without the parents having worked it out themselves inevitably chooses an arrangement neither of them entirely wanted.

A unilateral application is not a hostile act. It is regularly the only way to get movement when the other party does nothing, or to get clarity quickly about the home and the children through provisional measures. A process started unilaterally also often ends in a covenant after all.

How does a parenting plan work in a divorce?

If you have minor children, a parenting plan signed by both parents must be enclosed with the divorce application; without that plan the application is in principle not complete. That is set out in article 815(2) of the Code of Civil Procedure: the application "contains a parenting plan signed by both spouses" in respect of their joint minor children, regardless of whether or not they exercise parental authority jointly.

The obligation does not apply only to married couples. Article 1:247a of the Dutch Civil Code imposes the same duty on parents who exercise parental authority jointly and end their cohabitation: they "draw up a parenting plan as referred to in article 815, second and third paragraphs, of the Code of Civil Procedure". So cohabitants with joint parental authority cannot avoid it either.

What if you cannot work it out? The plan is a procedural requirement, not an absolute threshold. Article 815(6) of the Code of Civil Procedure provides that if the parenting plan "cannot reasonably be submitted", other documents may suffice or it may be provided for in another way, "all this at the court’s discretion". In practice you therefore see courts dealing with the application anyway where it is clear that the parents have not been able to agree together — the District Court of The Hague considered in a 2025 case that the parents had not managed to reach agreement together and therefore "disregarded the requirement of article 815(2) of the Code of Civil Procedure" (ECLI:NL:RBDHA:2025:23919). You cannot, however, rely on that: the court also has the power to declare the application inadmissible.

There is moreover a stay provision in the law that is less well known. If the duty in article 1:247a of the Dutch Civil Code rests on the parents and they have not complied with it, the court stays the decision on parental authority, primary residence and the division of care of its own motion under article 1:253a(3) until there is a plan — unless the child’s interests preclude this. So no plan in that case means delay on precisely the subjects on which you wanted clarity.

What must a parenting plan contain?

Article 815(3) of the Code of Civil Procedure names three subjects that must in any event be in it: the division of care and upbringing tasks or the arrangement of contact, the way in which you inform and consult each other about important matters, and the costs of the care and upbringing of the children. Everything beyond that is free — and that is precisely where the difference lies between a plan that works and a plan that does not survive the first holiday.

In addition, article 815(4) of the Code of Civil Procedure requires the application to state "in what way the children have been involved in drawing up the parenting plan". So the child has a voice, suited to age and understanding.

The statutory minimum content:

What in practice also belongs in it, because it otherwise leads to conflict within a year:

• the child’s primary residence, with a view to registration, child benefit and allowances;
• how you deal with a house move, and within what distance that is allowed without consultation;
• travel abroad: permission, passport and, with family in Turkey or Poland, the duration and the outward and return dates;
• choice of school and the transition to secondary education;
• medical decisions and who may approach which practitioner;
• special costs: orthodontics, an expensive sport, tutoring, a study trip;
• a new partner: when you introduce them and what you expect of each other;
• how you review the plan periodically, and what you do in a dispute — for example a meeting with a mediator first before anyone goes to court.

The most common mistake is a plan that is too vague. "By mutual agreement" and "reasonably" are pleasant words at the moment you are still talking to each other, and worthless at the moment that no longer works. A good parenting plan is written for the worst version of your relationship, not the best. Write out the holiday division for the years ahead, with even and odd years, and note the pick-up and drop-off times.

What exactly does parental authority mean?

Parental authority is the duty and the right to care for and bring up your minor child, and with that the power to take the decisions about that child — about school, medical treatment, place of residence and the management of their assets. Article 1:247(1) of the Dutch Civil Code describes it as "the duty and the right of the parent to care for and bring up their minor child".

Subsection 2 fills in what that covers: "the care and responsibility for the mental and physical well-being and the safety of the child as well as promoting the development of their personality". The same provision expressly prohibits mental or physical violence and any other degrading treatment.

There is also an obligation in it that weighs heavily in a divorce. Article 1:247(3) of the Dutch Civil Code: parental authority "also includes the parent’s obligation to promote the development of their child’s ties with the other parent". So a parent who actively obstructs the bond with the other parent breaches their own duty of parental authority — and that is an argument that carries weight in authority proceedings.

Parental authority does not disappear by itself through a divorce. Article 1:251(2) of the Dutch Civil Code: after dissolution of the marriage other than by death, "the parents who have parental authority jointly continue to exercise that authority jointly". That is the main rule, and the court does not have to decide anything about it if nobody asks.

In addition, article 1:247(4) of the Dutch Civil Code gives the child after the divorce "the right to equivalent care and upbringing by both parents". Equivalent is not the same as equal: the case law accepts that this starting point does not require a fifty-fifty division of time. Subsection 5 allows parents to take account in the parenting plan of practical obstacles, but only in so far as and for as long as those exist.

Parental authority, primary residence and contact arrangements: what is the difference?

Parental authority is about who takes the decisions, primary residence about where the child lives administratively, and the contact or care arrangement about who actually cares for the child when. They are three separate questions, and the answer to one says nothing about the others. This is the subject on which most misunderstandings exist in our practice, and from which most unnecessary proceedings arise.

Why people confuse these. Parents often think that the parent with whom the child is registered is "in charge", or that joint parental authority automatically means that the child is with each of them half the time. Both are incorrect. Two parents with joint parental authority have exactly the same decision-making power, even if the child is registered with one and the other sees the child every other weekend. And conversely: a parent without parental authority still has a right of contact, because article 1:377a(1) of the Dutch Civil Code expressly provides that "the parent not charged with parental authority has the right to and the obligation of contact with their child".

The term depends on parental authority. If both parents have parental authority, the law does not speak of contact but of a division of care and upbringing tasks (article 1:253a(2)(a) of the Dutch Civil Code). If one parent has parental authority, it is a matter of contact (article 1:377a). Factually the schedule can be identical; legally the basis is different, and that matters for what exactly you have to request.

Contact is not refused lightly. Article 1:377a(3) of the Dutch Civil Code names four — and only four — grounds: contact that would seriously harm the child’s mental or physical development; manifest unsuitability or manifest inability to have contact; serious objections by a child of twelve or older, apparent at their hearing; or conflict with weighty interests of the child. Beyond those four grounds there is no room, and a parent who unilaterally stops contact because they "no longer feel up to it" is legally in a weak position.

For the non-caring parent there is also a right to information. Article 1:377b(1) of the Dutch Civil Code obliges the parent with parental authority to inform the other parent of important matters and to consult them about these.

When does one parent get sole parental authority?

Sole parental authority is as a rule only awarded where there is an unacceptable risk of the child becoming trapped or lost between the parents with no improvement to be expected within a foreseeable period, or where a change of parental authority is otherwise necessary in the child’s interests. Those are the two grounds in article 1:251a(1) of the Dutch Civil Code, and the case law applies them cautiously.

The District Court of Gelderland put it like this: the court can grant the request "if there is an unacceptable risk that the child will become trapped or lost between the parents and it is not to be expected that sufficient improvement in this will come within a foreseeable period, or if a change of parental authority is necessary for other reasons in the child’s interests" (ECLI:NL:RBGEL:2026:1127).

What makes the threshold so high in practice is the word trapped. Poor communication between parents is in itself not enough; the District Court of Amsterdam considered, in a case in which there was not even contact between mother and child, that it was indeed "sometimes difficult for the parties to reach joint arrangements", but that there was "no ground" for sole parental authority (ECLI:NL:RBAMS:2024:8357). It must appear from the facts that the child itself suffers from the joint authority, and that it cannot be resolved with support.

Situations in which sole parental authority is more likely to arise in practice:

• structural domestic violence or a criminal history that directly affects the child;
• a parent who is in fact unreachable, so that necessary decisions — medical treatment, a passport, a school registration — go unmade;
• a parent who structurally uses their signature as leverage in another conflict;
• a years-long, completely deadlocked relationship in which all support services have been exhausted.

Bear in mind that the court can decide of its own motion if a minor of twelve or older appears to attach importance to it, and also with a younger child capable of a reasonable appreciation of their interests (article 1:251a(4) of the Dutch Civil Code).

A middle way that often works better: a dispute about one specific decision can be put to the court under article 1:253a(1) of the Dutch Civil Code without parental authority itself being at issue. The court "takes such a decision as appears to it desirable in the child’s interests" and deals with such a request within six weeks under subsection 6. That is quicker, cheaper and less damaging than proceedings about parental authority.

Applying for parental authority as a father: how does that work?

For acknowledgements made on or after 1 January 2023 the person acknowledging in principle acquires joint parental authority with the mother by operation of law; if the acknowledgement was before that date, that does not apply and parental authority still has to be arranged. Article 1:251b(1) of the Dutch Civil Code now provides that "the mother and the person who has acknowledged a child exercise parental authority over their child jointly", subject to a number of exceptions.

The exceptions in subsection 1 are: there is a guardian, provision for parental authority is lacking, the parent with parental authority exercises it together with a non-parent, or the person acknowledging already had parental authority. In addition, the mother exercises parental authority alone if the deed of acknowledgement states that the parents have so declared, or if the court has granted substitute consent for the acknowledgement (article 1:251b(2)).

For the old cases — and there are many — there are two routes:

For the judicial route the threshold is favourably worded for the father. Article 1:253c(2) of the Dutch Civil Code: if the application seeks to give the parents joint parental authority and the other parent does not consent, the application is "only refused" if there is an unacceptable risk of the child becoming trapped or lost with no prospect of improvement, or if refusal is otherwise necessary in the child’s interests. So the starting point is that it is granted, and the mother who objects has to explain why one of the two grounds for refusal applies.

Acknowledgement and parental authority are, incidentally, two different things. Acknowledgement makes you a legal parent; parental authority gives you the decision-making power. Anyone who acknowledged before 2023 without an entry of parental authority is a parent but does not have parental authority — with the practical consequence that they may not take part in decisions about school and medical treatment and cannot take the child abroad without permission.

What is child maintenance based on, and up to what age does it apply?

Parents are obliged to provide, according to their capacity, for the costs of the care and upbringing of their minor children, and that duty runs until the child turns 21. Article 1:404(1) of the Dutch Civil Code imposes the obligation for minors; article 1:395a(1) extends it: "Parents are obliged to provide for the costs of living and study of their adult children who have not reached the age of twenty-one."

Up to 21 the child does not have to show need. Article 1:392(2) of the Dutch Civil Code expressly exempts parents from the requirement of need towards their minor children and towards their children referred to in article 1:395a. The Court of Appeal of ‘s-Hertogenbosch put the consequence clearly: "Parents are, after all, under a maintenance obligation towards their children who are younger than 21, even if those children are not in need because they would be able to provide for their own living" (ECLI:NL:GHSHE:2017:5393). From 21 that reverses: then there is only a maintenance obligation where there is need.

From 18 the child moreover has a claim of its own. The maintenance is then no longer paid to the other parent but to the child itself.

What the amount is based on. Article 1:397(1) of the Dutch Civil Code gives the test: account is taken "on the one hand of the needs of the person entitled to maintenance and on the other of the capacity of the person obliged to pay". So two quantities:

• Needs — what the child costs. In practice that is derived from the net disposable household income as it was when the family was still together. The Court of Appeal of ‘s-Hertogenbosch considered that the test is not the family’s actual expenditure, but "the net disposable income of the family" (ECLI:NL:GHSHE:2006:AY6457).
• Capacity to pay — what a parent can spare, given their income and their own necessary outgoings.

The calculation method itself is not in the law. Courts work with the recommendations of the maintenance standards expert group, in practice called the Trema standards. Those recommendations are revised periodically; they are not law, but they are very widely relied on in the case law. The case law also shows how the statute works through into them: following the statutory priority for child maintenance in article 1:400(1) of the Dutch Civil Code, the recommendations were amended so that "the new partner is to be left out of the calculation of capacity, in the sense that the person under the maintenance obligation is to be treated in the capacity calculation as a single person" (ECLI:NL:GHARN:2011:BQ5183).

On this page we deliberately give no percentages and no table amounts. The standard amounts are adjusted annually and the system has been changed several times in recent years; a percentage you read somewhere is more often out of date than current. A realistic calculation requires both your net disposable incomes, the division of care and the outgoings — and that calculation can be made in an hour.

Two rules you do need to know:

• Child maintenance comes first. Article 1:400(1) of the Dutch Civil Code gives children and stepchildren under 21 priority over all other persons entitled to maintenance, so over the ex-partner too. If capacity is limited, the children come first.
• You cannot waive it. Article 1:400(2) of the Dutch Civil Code: "Agreements waiving the maintenance owed under the law are void." So an arrangement in a covenant that no child maintenance is paid is not binding and can be reopened later.

Finally, a stepparent can also be under a maintenance obligation: article 1:395 of the Dutch Civil Code obliges them during their marriage or registered partnership to maintain the minor stepchildren belonging to their household.

Is spousal maintenance compulsory, and how long does it last?

Spousal maintenance is not automatically payable: the court can award it to the spouse who does not have sufficient income and cannot reasonably obtain it either. Since 1 January 2020 it lasts in principle half the duration of the marriage, with a maximum of five years — with four exceptions. The main rule is in article 1:157(1) of the Dutch Civil Code: if the court has not set a period, the obligation ends by operation of law "after the expiry of a period equal to half the duration of the marriage with a maximum of five years".

The basis for the entitlement itself is in article 1:156 of the Dutch Civil Code: the court can award a payment to the spouse "who does not have sufficient income for their living, nor can reasonably obtain it". So there is no entitlement without need, and no entitlement without capacity on the other side — article 1:397(1) applies here just as much.

The exceptions to the duration, literally from the statute:

The period does not start on the day of the ruling. Article 1:157(6) of the Dutch Civil Code: the period "starts on the date of entry of the divorce order in the registers of births, deaths and marriages".

The children exception in subsection 4 is strictly worded and is applied that way too. The District Court of Zeeland-West-Brabant noted that the text is "fairly mandatory": if children were born of the marriage, the obligation does not end before those children have turned twelve — how the care is actually divided makes no difference to that (ECLI:NL:RBZWB:2023:7384).

The hardship clause. Article 1:157(7) of the Dutch Civil Code provides a way out where unchanged termination "cannot be required by standards of reasonableness and fairness" of the person entitled to maintenance. The court can then set a period after all. Note the forfeiture period: the application must be filed "before three months have passed since the termination of the payment". Those three months are absolute and are regularly missed in practice.

When spousal maintenance ends earlier. Article 1:160 of the Dutch Civil Code: the obligation ends when the recipient "remarries, enters into a registered partnership or has started living with another as if they were married or as if they had registered their partnership". The consequence is final: the maintenance does not revive if that new relationship founders. Precisely for that reason the provision is construed restrictively in the case law. The Court of Appeal of Arnhem-Leeuwarden: "The exceptional and irrevocable character of the sanction contained in article 1:160 of the Dutch Civil Code requires that this provision be construed restrictively, which means that it may not readily be assumed that the requirements set by this provision have been met" (ECLI:NL:GHARL:2017:1472). What is required includes an affective relationship of a lasting nature entailing that the parties care for each other mutually and run a joint household. Merely living together is not enough — but anyone running the risk should know that the evidence on this is searching and can lead to disclosure of their own financial records.

You can also make arrangements about this yourselves. Article 1:158 of the Dutch Civil Code allows spouses to determine by agreement, before or after the order, whether and up to what amount maintenance is paid. If no period is stated, the statutory periods in article 1:157 apply after all.

My ex-partner has become unemployed: can the maintenance be changed?

Yes. A court ruling or an agreement about maintenance can be changed or withdrawn by a later court ruling where, through a change of circumstances, it ceases to meet the statutory standards. That is article 1:401(1) of the Dutch Civil Code, and it is the provision on which almost every maintenance change is based.

The threshold is lower than people think: what matters is a relevant change, not a shocking one. Job loss, incapacity for work, a structurally different income, a new child, an extended care arrangement or reaching pensionable age are all examples accepted in the case law as a change of circumstances. The District Court of The Hague accepted a change because "the care arrangement has been extended since the child maintenance was fixed and both parents have had a child with their current partner" (ECLI:NL:RBDHA:2026:21541).

What happens afterwards is more important than the threshold. Once the change is established, the court fixes the maintenance entirely afresh on the basis of all circumstances existing at that moment. It does not have to examine whether each individual circumstance has changed, and it is not bound by decisions in the earlier ruling. The Advocate General at the Supreme Court summarised it as follows: the maintenance court "must fix a new level of maintenance on the basis of all relevant circumstances existing at the time of its decision, even where those circumstances existed at the time of the earlier maintenance ruling but were not raised" (ECLI:NL:PHR:2018:1405). So an application to vary in principle opens the case entirely — for both parties.

Two special routes:

• Incorrect from the outset. Article 1:401(4) of the Dutch Civil Code: a ruling can also be changed or withdrawn "if from the outset it did not meet the statutory standards because that ruling proceeded on incorrect or incomplete information". That is the route where income was concealed or where someone in fact knew nothing of the proceedings.
• Change of a period that has been set. For extending a period, subsection 1 does not apply but subsection 2, with a heavier test: there must be "such a far-reaching change of circumstances that unchanged maintenance of the period cannot be required of the applicant by standards of reasonableness and fairness".
• Reopening an agreement. Where it was not a court ruling but an arrangement in the covenant, the heavier test in article 1:401(5) of the Dutch Civil Code applies to the "incorrect from the outset" route: gross disregard of the statutory standards. So a covenant is considerably harder to reopen than an order — all the more reason to have it looked at carefully when signing.

In practice: a change in principle does not operate retroactively. Anyone who wants lower maintenance because they have lost their job would be wise to make that known immediately and not to wait six months first — arrears arising in the meantime as a rule simply remain payable. And if you unilaterally stop paying, the LBIO can take over collection, with costs on top.

Divorce and the home: who may stay in it?

During the proceedings the court can order by way of provisional measure that one of you is exclusively entitled to use the matrimonial home; after the entry of the divorce it can award continued use for six months. Those are two different arrangements, with two different bases.

During the proceedings article 822(1)(a) of the Code of Civil Procedure applies: the court can order for the duration of the proceedings "that one of the spouses shall be exclusively entitled to use the matrimonial home with an order that the other spouse must leave that home and may not enter it further". That measure loses its force under article 826(1) as soon as the divorce order is entered — with the proviso that in the case of a rented home it continues until the tenancy application has been decided.

After the entry article 1:165(1) of the Dutch Civil Code applies: the court can order that the spouse occupying the home at the time of entry is entitled "to continue the occupation and use of the items belonging to the home and its contents for six months after the entry of the order, against reasonable compensation". Six months, against reasonable compensation — it is a bridging arrangement, not a permanent solution.

With a rented home it is different. Article 7:266(1) of the Dutch Civil Code makes the spouse or registered partner of a tenant a co-tenant by operation of law for as long as the home is their principal residence, regardless of when the tenancy agreement was concluded. On divorce the court can under article 7:266(5) "determine which of the spouses or registered partners shall be the tenant of the accommodation"; it also sets the commencement date, and on that same day the tenancy with the other ends. This is one of the forms of ancillary relief you can request in the divorce proceedings (article 827(1)(f) of the Code of Civil Procedure). If you do not, you both remain jointly and severally liable for the rent — article 7:266(2).

What the right of use does not settle: ownership, the mortgage and the question of who ultimately stays living there. That runs through the division.

How is the house divided in a divorce?

With an owner-occupied home there are in principle three outcomes: the home goes to one of you with settlement of the positive or negative equity, it goes to the other, or it is sold and the proceeds are divided. The hard precondition is that the departing partner has to be released from joint and several liability for the mortgage. That last point is where most divisions founder, and it is not a legal but a banking decision.

The steps:

1. Determine the value. As a rule through a valuation, sometimes through a jointly chosen estate agent. Record the reference date and the basis of valuation expressly; if you do not, there will be an argument about it later.
2. Determine the balance. Value minus mortgage debt gives the positive or negative equity.
3. Divide. In a community of property the spouses have under article 1:100(1) of the Dutch Civil Code "an equal share in the dissolved community", unless otherwise provided by prenuptial agreement or by a written agreement with a view to the dissolution.
4. Settle rights of reimbursement. If private assets have been put into the home — an inheritance, a gift, pre-marital savings — a right of reimbursement can arise from that. In practice this is the most underestimated element.
5. Apply for release from joint and several liability with the lender. They assess whether the remaining partner can carry the mortgage alone.
6. Transfer at the notary.

Why step 5 determines everything. Without release from joint and several liability the departing partner remains liable to the bank for the whole loan, however the division is arranged between you. An arrangement between the two of you does not bind the bank. In covenants the allocation is therefore as a rule tied to a condition: the District Court of The Hague set out the conditions for the division of a home as a "timetable" expressly including the release from joint and several liability (ECLI:NL:RBDHA:2024:15979). If that release is not granted, the allocation falls back on a sale.

Do not omit to make these arrangements: whoever stays in the home until transfer as a rule pays a use compensation to the other; the outgoings that continue in the meantime — interest, repayment, owner’s charges, maintenance — have to be divided; and the consequences for both your mortgage interest deductions have to be checked. Arrange this in the covenant, not afterwards.

What happens to the assets: community of property or prenuptial agreement?

If you married on or after 1 January 2018 without a prenuptial agreement, the limited community of property applies: what each of you had before the marriage, and what was acquired during the marriage by inheritance or gift, in principle stays private. If you married earlier without an agreement, the general community applied. That difference determines the outcome in many cases.

Article 1:94(2) of the Dutch Civil Code describes the current community: it comprises all assets that belonged to the spouses jointly before the start of the community, and all other assets acquired from the start of the community until its dissolution — with the exception of, among other things, assets acquired "by intestate succession, testamentary disposition, testamentary charge or gift" and of pension rights to which the Pension Rights (Equalisation on Divorce) Act applies.

Three points matter in practice:

• What was joint stays joint. If you bought a house together before the marriage, that falls under the limited community too.
• Inheritances and gifts stay private, unless otherwise provided by will or with the gift (article 1:94(3) and (4) of the Dutch Civil Code). An exclusion clause in a will has effect.
• Anyone claiming something as private must be able to prove it. Article 1:94(8) of the Dutch Civil Code: if there is a dispute about whom an asset belongs to and neither can prove their right, "then that asset is treated as a community asset". That makes your records a legal instrument: an inheritance credited to the joint account and mixed there with everything else is afterwards barely traceable.

The moment of dissolution is not the date of the divorce. Article 1:99(1)(b) of the Dutch Civil Code: on divorce the community is dissolved by operation of law "at the time of filing the divorce application". What is earned or bought after that filing therefore falls outside it. That is one of the few moments in a divorce at which timing genuinely matters legally.

With a prenuptial agreement it is not a matter of dividing but of settling. A prenuptial agreement must under article 1:115(1) of the Dutch Civil Code be entered into by notarial deed, on pain of nullity. The key question is what that deed precisely provides and whether it has been given effect in practice. The classic pitfall is the periodic set-off clause — the agreement to settle the saved income annually — that has not been complied with throughout the marriage. The consequences of that can be far-reaching and can mean that a settlement has to be made after all as if saving had taken place. Have the deed read before you make arrangements, not afterwards.

Also useful: a claim for division can be brought together with the divorce application (article 1:99(4) of the Dutch Civil Code), and the court can determine the division or the set-off as ancillary relief (article 827(1)(b) of the Code of Civil Procedure).

What happens to the pension in a divorce?

The old-age pension built up during the marriage is in principle divided equally: the ex-partner is entitled to half of it. If you report the divorce to the pension provider within two years, the provider pays that part directly to the ex-partner. The basis is the Pension Rights (Equalisation on Divorce) Act (Wvps).

Article 2(1) Wvps: on divorce the other spouse is entitled to pension equalisation in so far as the one spouse "has built up pension entitlements after the conclusion of the marriage and before the divorce", unless the spouses have excluded the Act by prenuptial agreement or by a written agreement with a view to the divorce. Article 3(1) Wvps provides that the part to be equalised amounts to "half" of the pension that would have to be paid if participation had taken place solely during the married years of participation.

The two-year period is where things go wrong in practice. Article 2(2) Wvps only allows a right to direct payment by the pension provider to arise "provided that within two years of the time of the divorce" notification of it has been given to the implementing body, on a form set by the minister. If you are late, you have not lost your right — article 2(6) Wvps then gives a right to payment against the ex-partner themselves — but from then on you have to collect it from him or her, year after year, for decades. That is considerably less comfortable than a direct payment by the pension fund.

What you can agree:

For the deviating arrangements in articles 4 and 5 Wvps too, a certified copy must be with the provider within two years; otherwise the arrangement cannot be invoked against the provider — not even if it was entered in the matrimonial property register.

Three practical points to note. Small pensions are not equalised: article 3(3) Wvps excludes equalisation if the part to be divided does not exceed the commutation limit in article 66(1) of the Pensions Act. Conversion is irreversible and has a price: with an independent right your payment no longer follows the life of your ex-partner, which can be favourable — but you thereby also give up the special partner’s pension attached to the original right. Have this calculated before you choose. And equalisation is not the same as survivor’s pension: the latter runs on its own track, the special partner’s pension in article 57 of the Pensions Act, which the ex-partner in principle retains. Request both elements separately from the provider.

Finally: a bill has been pending for years that seeks to replace this system (the Pension Division on Divorce Act). That bill has not entered into force; the law in force is and remains the Wvps. So do not be guided by explanations that anticipate the new system.

Separating without being married: cohabitants and the registered partnership

A registered partnership without joint minor children can be ended by mutual consent without a court; if there are children over whom you exercise parental authority, you have to go to court just like married couples. For unmarried cohabitants there is no termination procedure — but there is a series of obligations they often overlook.

Registered partnership. Article 1:80c(1)(c) of the Dutch Civil Code allows termination by entry of a declaration signed and dated by both partners "and one or more lawyers or notaries" showing that they have concluded a termination agreement. So no court is involved, but a lawyer or notary is. The Court of Appeal of Amsterdam explained why that countersignature is there: "to safeguard the completeness, legal accuracy and correct dating of the agreement" (ECLI:NL:GHAMS:2011:BV3506).

The exception is in article 1:80c(3) of the Dutch Civil Code: termination by mutual consent is excluded if the partners "whether or not jointly exercise parental authority over one or more of their joint children". With children under parental authority, going to court is therefore compulsory.

Note the time limit: the declaration must be entered at the latest three months after the agreement is concluded. Article 1:80d(1) of the Dutch Civil Code prescribes what must at least be in the termination agreement: the declaration by both partners that their partnership has irretrievably broken down and that they want to end it. In addition — expressly not on pain of nullity — the spousal maintenance, the question who gets or rents the home, the division or set-off of the assets, and the equalisation or set-off of pension rights. The spousal maintenance rules in article 1:157 apply mutatis mutandis through article 1:80d(2): the same duration, the same exceptions.

Unmarried cohabitation. Here there is nothing to dissolve, and that is precisely what makes it risky. There is no community, no statutory maintenance obligation between the partners themselves, and no pension equalisation. What there is:

• Child maintenance. That is entirely separate from your marital status: the duty in article 1:404 of the Dutch Civil Code applies to all parents.
• A parenting plan, if you exercise parental authority jointly (article 1:247a of the Dutch Civil Code).
• Parental authority. For acknowledgements made on or after 1 January 2023 that arises in principle by operation of law (article 1:251b); if the acknowledgement was before that date, parental authority has to have been arranged separately.
• The joint home and investments in it. If the home is jointly yours, the ordinary rules of the simple community apply. If one of you has invested in the other’s home, a right of reimbursement can exist; the Supreme Court set out the framework for that in its judgment of 10 May 2019, ECLI:NL:HR:2019:707, which is applied as standard in the case law on former cohabitants. The bases are then an express or tacit agreement, undue payment or unjust enrichment — none of the three is easy to prove.
• Co-tenancy. Unlike with married couples, that does not arise automatically; article 7:267 of the Dutch Civil Code has a separate procedure for the cohabitant who wants to become a co-tenant.

The lesson: for cohabitants a cohabitation contract is not a formality but the only place where it says what happens when you separate. Without that contract you have to prove afterwards what you once intended — and the case law shows that such proof often cannot be produced.

Divorcing internationally: which court, and which law?

In a marriage with a foreign element there are two separate questions: which court has jurisdiction, and which law that court applies. The answer to the first question does not determine the answer to the second. This is the subject on which most mistakes are made, and where the consequences are greatest — a divorce that is valid in one country but not recognised in another is a problem that has effects for years.

Jurisdiction. Within the European Union this has run since 1 August 2022 through Regulation (EU) 2019/1111, in practice Brussels II-ter. The District Court of The Hague applies that regulation as standard: if both spouses have Dutch nationality, the Dutch court has jurisdiction "on the basis of article 3(1)(b) of Regulation (EU) 2019/1111" (ECLI:NL:RBDHA:2024:15672). In addition, article 3 of that regulation contains a series of grounds of jurisdiction tied to the spouses’ habitual residence.

Importantly, the regulation is exclusive on this point. The Dutch rules on jurisdiction in the Code of Civil Procedure do not come into play alongside it, and the Netherlands has no residual jurisdiction (see the opinion ECLI:NL:PHR:2018:1432).

Applicable law. For that, article 10:56 of the Dutch Civil Code applies. Subsection 1 is the main rule and is short: "Whether dissolution of the marriage or judicial separation can be pronounced, and on what grounds, is determined by Dutch law." Subsection 2 allows an exception: the law of the state of a common foreign nationality is applied if the spouses choose it together, or if one of them chooses it and that choice is not contested, or if one of them chooses it and both have a genuine social connection with that country. Under subsection 3 the choice of law must have been made expressly or appear sufficiently clearly from the wording of the application or the defence.

What you have to arrange separately in an international case:

Whoever is first often chooses the playing field. If several countries have jurisdiction, it is as a rule the application brought first that determines where the case is heard — and that can produce large substantive differences in maintenance and the division of assets. If your case involves two countries, have it assessed straight away where you are best off starting. Waiting costs money directly here.

Our family law section regularly handles cases with a Turkish or Polish element. We conduct those conversations in Turkish and Polish, which can make a difference when it comes to documents from the country of origin.

What does a divorce lawyer cost, and can it be done through state-funded legal aid?

The costs depend above all on whether you agree together: a joint application with one lawyer is as a rule the cheapest, while a case in which parental authority, maintenance and assets are litigated can cost multiples of that. Anyone with a low income and few assets may qualify for state-funded legal aid — a legal aid certificate — with an own contribution.

The certificate is issued by the Legal Aid Board under the Legal Aid Act. Your income and assets are assessed, in principle over a reference year two years before the year of application. If your income has fallen sharply since — which is very common in a divorce — you can ask for a different reference year to be used. In addition you pay the court fee yourself.

We give no amounts here. The income and asset limits and the own contributions are indexed periodically, and an amount you read elsewhere is almost always from an earlier year. The Legal Aid Board publishes the current limits and contributions itself; have your situation tested against those before you start anything. Source: Legal Aid Board.

What actually determines the costs in your case:

The cheapest case is the case that is set up properly at the front end. We regularly see cases that have become expensive because in the first weeks no choice was made between together or apart, or because a covenant was signed that did not deal with the most important subjects. With us you can have your situation assessed free of charge before you engage a lawyer: we tell you what has to happen in your case and which route fits it best.

Where does it go wrong in practice? Ten common mistakes

Most of the damage in a divorce case is not done by the court or by the ex-partner, but by decisions people take themselves in the first few months — often out of a wish for it to be over quickly.

1. Forgetting the entry in the register. If the order is not entered within six months of becoming final, it loses its force (article 1:163(3) of the Dutch Civil Code) and you are still married.
2. Missing the two-year period for the pension. After that you have to collect it from your ex-partner instead of from the fund (article 2(2) Wvps).
3. A vague parenting plan. "By mutual agreement" works exactly as long as the agreement works.
4. Agreeing that no child maintenance will be paid. Such an arrangement is void (article 1:400(2) of the Dutch Civil Code) and can be reopened later.
5. Invoking the hardship clause too late. An application under article 1:157(7) of the Dutch Civil Code must be filed within three months of the termination of the payment.
6. Allocating the home without release from joint and several liability. Towards the bank you then simply remain liable for the whole loan.
7. Not being able to show private assets. What has been mixed and can no longer be traced is treated as a community asset under article 1:94(8) of the Dutch Civil Code.
8. Unilaterally stopping payment. That solves nothing: the arrears remain payable and collection can be taken over, with costs. Apply for a change under article 1:401 of the Dutch Civil Code.
9. Signing without having the prenuptial agreement read. A periodic set-off clause that has not been complied with can overturn the whole division.
10. Thinking the child makes its own choice. A child is heard and its opinion counts, but it does not carry the decision — and manoeuvring the child into that position is harmful.

How do you choose a divorce lawyer?

Do not look for the "best" lawyer but for the lawyer who fits the kind of case you have: a settled divorce calls for someone who delivers paperwork quickly and carefully, a deadlocked parental authority case calls for someone who litigates. Those are not always the same qualities.

What to look out for:

When you definitely need expert assistance: if there is disagreement about parental authority or primary residence; if a business, an owner-occupied home or foreign assets are involved; if there is a prenuptial agreement that has not been complied with; if there is an international element; if you are presented with a covenant you do not fully understand; and always when pressure is put on you to sign quickly.

Read also: tenancy law — about your position as a tenant, for example when the rented home is allocated to one of you in the divorce. And, if the divorce threatens to put you in financial difficulty: removing a BKR listing.

About this advice

Arslan Advocaten handles divorces, maintenance cases and parental authority proceedings from offices in The Hague, Rotterdam, Amsterdam, Utrecht, Tilburg and Eindhoven. We assess your situation free of charge, guide both joint applications and cases in which litigation is needed, and check whether you qualify for state-funded legal aid. Besides Dutch we speak Turkish and Polish.

Call the office nearest to you — the direct numbers are below — or send us your question through the contact form. We will tell you where you stand and what the next step is.

Our offices: visiting address and direct telephone number

Each office has its own direct number. The first conversation is free of charge and confidential; besides Dutch we speak Turkish, Polish and English.

Not sure which office is most convenient? Then call 070 4500 300 or send your question through the contact form; we will put you through to the right colleague.

This page gives general information and is not legal advice about your own case. No rights can be derived from the principles set out here.

When a decision cannot wait

Sometimes arrangements about the house, the children or maintenance cannot wait for the final divorce. A lawyer can assess whether provisional measures are needed. Such a temporary decision has to be aligned with the main proceedings and the applicable time limits; it does not automatically divide the house or the rest of the property.

For the financial settlement, pension and prenuptial agreements and the set-off clause are also important. Discuss those subjects before a final divorce covenant is signed.