Applying for sole parental authority: when is it possible?

23 September 2026

Arslan Advocaten

Need help urgently?

Applying for sole parental authority: when is it possible?

Divorce or a dispute about your children?

A Dutch divorce requires a lawyer. With minor children a parenting plan is required as well.

Authority, main residence and contact are three separate things. We explain which applies to you.
Moving abroad with your child without the other parent’s consent can be unlawful, even if you have authority.
Call us or send us your situation and we will tell you what to expect.

Bel 070 450 0300 WhatsApp ons Stuur uw stukken op

Het eerste gesprek is kosteloos en vertrouwelijk. Zes vestigingen in Nederland. Wij spreken ook Turks, Pools en Engels.

Sole parental authority means that one parent takes the decisions on parental authority concerning a minor child. Joint parental authority does not end simply because the parents quarrel or have little contact. The court considers, among other things, whether there is an unacceptable risk that the child will become trapped or lost between the parents and whether sufficient improvement can be expected, or whether a change is otherwise necessary in the best interests of the child. The correct statutory route depends on how the existing parental authority came about.

Nederlands: Lees dit artikel in het Nederlands: Eenhoofdig gezag aanvragen: wanneer is dat mogelijk?

Türkçe: Bu makaleyi Türkçe okuyun: Tek başına velayet başvurusu: ne zaman mümkündür?

Written by Öznur Batur, attorney at Arslan Advocaten. Registered in the specialisation register of the Netherlands Bar for personal and family law and criminal law. Last updated: 19 September 2026. General information is not legal advice about your own situation.

A request must therefore show which important decisions are deadlocked, what that means for the child and why less far-reaching solutions are insufficient. Below you will find an explanation of the conditions, the supporting documents and the consequences.

Parental authority, residence and contact are separate issues

Parental authority concerns the legal responsibility for the child’s care, upbringing and important decisions. These include, for example, the choice of school, certain medical decisions and a significant relocation. The principal residence indicates where the child has his or her main home. A care or contact arrangement governs the contact with and time spent at each parent’s home.

A child can live mainly with one parent while both parents hold parental authority. A parent can have no parental authority but still have contact and a duty of maintenance. These issues must be assessed separately, even if they arise in the same dispute.

So first ask which decision is actually needed. For a disagreement about a single choice of school, a targeted court decision may be more appropriate than ending joint parental authority. Structural problems may call for a broader assessment.

What is the current parental authority situation?

Parental authority may have arisen by operation of law, been applied for jointly or been determined by a court. Marriage, registered partnership, acknowledgement of paternity and earlier proceedings may all be relevant. Since 1 January 2023, acknowledgement leads to joint parental authority in many cases, but there are exceptions.

Collect more than just a recent extract. The birth certificate, the date of acknowledgement, the form of relationship and earlier court decisions may also be needed. A blank entry in the parental authority register does not automatically mean that joint parental authority is absent.

If you currently have no parental authority and wish to obtain joint or sole authority, that is a different starting point from ending existing joint parental authority. Your lawyer must base the request on the correct statutory ground.

The “trapped child” criterion explained

When sole parental authority is assessed, the question may be whether there is an unacceptable risk that the child will become trapped or lost between the parents and whether sufficient improvement can be expected within the foreseeable future. The focus is on the effect on the child and on decision-making, not solely on the quality of the relationship between the adults.

Examples of relevant facts may be that necessary decisions repeatedly fail to be made, information is structurally withheld or consent is refused without any substantive reason. Such facts must be viewed in context. A single difficult e-mail does not prove that joint parental authority is structurally impossible.

Expectations for the future also count. Are the parents able to make decisions through a fixed form of communication? Could professional support help? Or has enough been tried, with the child remaining under serious strain? A request must make that development clear.

When can a change otherwise be necessary?

In addition to the “trapped child” criterion, the law contains a test concerning the necessity of a change in the best interests of the child. Its precise application depends on the proceedings and the circumstances. It is not a general catch-all ground for ending any joint parental authority that is unpleasant.

There may be situations in which a parent has been unreachable for a long time, is unable to take responsible decisions or in which serious safety problems exist. It must then be examined which facts are established and which solution is appropriate.

Describe not only why the other parent falls short, but also how the requested change helps the child. The court must be able to see what improvement sole parental authority offers and what consequences it has for the position of the other parent.

Conflict or poor communication is not always enough

Many separated parents find communication difficult. Yet they are sometimes able to take important decisions by e-mail, through a co-parenting app or by a clearly agreed procedure. Joint parental authority does not require parents to be friends or to consult intensively every day.

Show what attempts have been made to make communication workable. State specific proposals, responses and outcomes. A history of accusations without examples of deadlocked decisions on parental authority makes a request less clear.

Conversely, it is not enough for a parent to say that he or she is willing to cooperate if necessary decisions in fact remain blocked. The court assesses conduct and consequences. A file with dates, subjects and outcomes helps in that respect.

Exploring less far-reaching solutions

A targeted decision on a dispute can provide a solution for a specific problem, such as school, medical treatment or relocation. Where parents share parental authority, the court can take a decision if they cannot agree. The parental authority as a whole then does not need to change.

Clear arrangements about information and response times can also help. For example, parents share school information through a single channel and respond within a reasonable time to a specific proposal. Not every arrangement can override statutory consent requirements, but practical clarity can remove many obstacles.

Discuss mediation or professional support where that is safe and appropriate. In cases of coercion or violence, a joint process may be unsuitable. Exploring alternatives does not mean that you must continue unsafe contact.

Which facts and documents are relevant?

Draw up an overview of important decisions that could not be taken. For each subject, describe what was needed, when it was requested, what response followed and what the consequences for the child were. Also mention where cooperation did work.

Birth, acknowledgement and parental authority records.
Earlier court decisions and the parenting plan.
Correspondence about specific decisions on parental authority.
Relevant information from the school, support services or practitioners.
A chronology of earlier attempts at improvement.
A proposal for information, contact and decision-making after the change.

Only use data that is necessary. Medical records and information about children are sensitive. Discuss which passages are relevant and how they can be used with due care in proceedings.

How do the proceedings work?

A lawyer files the petition with the competent district court. It sets out the current parental authority situation, the change requested and the legal and factual grounds. The other parent and any other interested parties can respond.

The district court may schedule a hearing, ask questions and, if necessary, have advice given or an investigation carried out. The Dutch Child Care and Protection Board may become involved. This does not happen in the same way in every case and does not produce a predetermined outcome.

A lawyer is generally required to file a request and a written defence. In certain proceedings you can respond orally without a lawyer, but given the far-reaching consequences of parental authority it is wise to understand in advance what is being requested and which documents are important.

The child’s voice

According to the current information from the Dutch judiciary (Rechtspraak), in many parental authority cases children aged eight and over are invited for a conversation with the judge. The child does not have to attend and may also give his or her views in another permitted way. The court takes age and development into account.

A conversation with the child does not mean that the child decides which parent obtains parental authority. The court remains responsible for weighing the interests. It is therefore wrong to tell a child that simply choosing one parent will decide the case.

Do not prepare your child with desired answers. Calmly explain that the child may say how things are going and what matters to him or her. That way, the conversation remains an opportunity to be heard rather than an extension of the conflict between the parents.

What changes when one parent obtains parental authority?

The parent with sole parental authority takes the decisions on parental authority within the statutory framework. That provides clarity about responsibility, but it is not unlimited freedom to disregard all interests of the other parent. Contact, information and maintenance may continue to exist.

The parent without parental authority is, in certain circumstances, entitled to information and consultation. The scope and any restrictions must be examined separately. A court can also take decisions on this if the child’s interests so require.

Set out in practical terms how the school, healthcare providers and others involved will be informed of the new situation. Use the current court decision and check that the change has been processed correctly. Prevent old and new arrangements from continuing to run side by side.

Contact and maintenance remain separate

Sole parental authority does not automatically end contact with the other parent. Separate conditions apply to restricting or refusing contact. If contact is unsafe or unworkable, that must be assessed specifically and, if necessary, requested separately.

Nor does a duty of maintenance disappear merely because a parent no longer has parental authority. Child maintenance relates to the costs of the child. A change in parental authority may be connected with a changed division of care, but a different amount requires its own calculation and legal assessment.

If there are problems with compliance, also read contact arrangement not being complied with. For financial questions, the explanation of child maintenance will help.

Safety and urgency

In the event of acute danger, appropriate protection must be sought first. Call 112 in case of immediate danger and, if you are concerned about domestic violence or child abuse, ask Veilig Thuis (the Dutch advice and reporting centre for domestic violence and child abuse) for advice. A request concerning parental authority is not always the fastest or only measure that can offer protection.

Tell your lawyer which specific deadline or threat exists. A necessary medical decision or an intended departure may call for a targeted urgent measure. At the same time, examine whether a structural change in parental authority is needed.

Collect factual information and avoid taking the law into your own hands. Withholding documents, ignoring decisions or moving a child yourself can cause new problems. The right measure must fit the specific risk.

Costs, time and possible outcome

The proceedings may involve lawyer’s fees and court fees. You may be entitled to subsidised legal aid. Ask in advance which work falls within the engagement and which costs may arise in the event of an investigation or an appeal.

How long the proceedings take depends on the substance, the district court and any further investigations. There is no reliable general promise that sole parental authority will be obtained within a fixed number of weeks. Proceedings may also lead to a rejection or to arrangements other than those you originally requested.

Discuss what temporary working method is needed during the proceedings. As long as joint parental authority exists, important decisions continue to require attention. A pending request does not yet make you the sole parent with parental authority.

Example: a targeted decision proves sufficient

In a fictitious situation, parents cannot agree on a secondary school. One parent immediately asks for sole parental authority. The documents show, however, that they are usually able to take decisions on medical care, holidays and other matters.

A lawyer therefore first examines a request concerning the choice of school. In addition, the parents make arrangements about sharing information in good time. If that solves the problem, ending joint parental authority may be unnecessarily far-reaching.

In another case, by contrast, several necessary decisions may have been deadlocked for years despite professional support. A structural change may then merit examination. The difference lies in the facts and the consequences for the child, not in who experiences the most frustration.

Defending against a request for sole parental authority

If you receive a request from the other parent, respond to the specific examples given. Show which decisions were taken jointly and how you responded to important questions. A general appeal to your rights is less helpful than demonstrable involvement with the child.

Acknowledge a genuine communication problem and describe your solution. That may be a fixed form of consultation, a limited response time or support from a professional. Make clear that the proposal is workable and not merely intended to win the proceedings. The question is whether joint parental authority can function in the best interests of the child.

Also check whether the other parent in fact needs a decision on a single subject. You can explain why a targeted solution is less far-reaching. That does not alter the fact that serious or prolonged deadlocks may justify a broader assessment. Discuss with your lawyer whether you should make a specific alternative request yourself.

Information for a parent without parental authority

A change in parental authority does not automatically make the other parent invisible in the child’s life. The law contains rules on information and consultation. In addition, a parent without parental authority may, under certain conditions, request information from professional third parties. Those rights have limits, including where the child’s interests oppose them.

Make practical arrangements about which information is shared, how often and through which channel. Think of progress at school, important health matters and special events. An information arrangement does not have to mean that every day-to-day choice is again submitted for approval.

If providing information is unsafe or leads to serious problems, ask for a specific legal assessment. A parent cannot permanently block all information solely on the basis of his or her own dissatisfaction. Conversely, a right to information does not confer an unlimited right to complete medical or confidential records.

Inform the school and healthcare providers about the parental authority situation using current documents. They must apply their own statutory information and privacy obligations. Do not ask them to take sides in the conflict. Clear contact details and a relevant court decision help them carry out their task with due care.

After the change, check which forms and authorisations still reflect the old situation. Practical errors in school or healthcare administration can cause fresh delays. A brief administrative check is often more useful than assuming that every organisation is automatically updated by the court.

Frequently asked questions

Do I obtain sole parental authority if the other parent never responds?

That is not automatically the case. The duration, subjects, consequences and available alternatives are relevant. Record specific requests and responses and have it assessed which procedure is appropriate.

Can the other parent voluntarily give up parental authority?

A single signed letter does not simply change parental authority. The statutory route and, where applicable, an assessment by the court remain necessary. The child’s interests are not entirely at the parents’ free disposal.

Does sole parental authority mean that contact stops?

No. Parental authority and contact are separate issues. Contact can continue and requires a separate assessment if a restriction or change is needed.

Must I first have tried professional support?

There is no general rule that every conceivable process must be completed first. It may, however, be relevant whether improvement is possible and which less far-reaching solutions have been explored. Safety and urgency are also taken into account.

Can a decision be changed later?

Under statutory conditions, a decision on parental authority can be reassessed later. A change does not follow merely from a new wish; relevant circumstances and the child’s interests must be substantiated.

How do I prepare for an initial consultation?

Bring the parental authority records, the court decision and three to five specific examples of deadlocked decisions. Through family law at Arslan you can have it assessed whether sole parental authority or a more targeted request is appropriate.