Suspected of domestic violence and given a contact ban or exclusion order

Are you suspected of domestic violence? In that case, criminal proceedings, a temporary exclusion order from your home and arrangements concerning children may all be running at the same time. These measures serve different purposes and follow different procedures. A temporary exclusion order can be imposed without any criminal conviction. A contact ban remains in force until the competent authority amends or ends it, even if your partner seeks contact with you.

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The first step is therefore to establish exactly which decision you have received. Keep the written documents, respect the limits set out in them and discuss your statement with a criminal defence lawyer before you are questioned on the substance. Below you can read how to keep an overview, which information matters and how to avoid unnecessary problems during the investigation.

What counts as domestic violence

Domestic violence is an umbrella term for violence within a domestic or relationship context. It may involve violence between partners or former partners, or against children, parents or other persons within the domestic circle. The criminal suspicion is linked to a specific criminal offence, such as assault, threats, stalking (belaging), criminal damage or a sexual offence.

That distinction determines which elements the Public Prosecution Service (Openbaar Ministerie, OM) has to prove. In a suspected assault, for example, the conduct, the intent and the injury or pain inflicted are relevant. In the case of threats, what matters includes the content and context of the threat. A serious relationship conflict is not in itself evidence of each separate criminal offence that is mentioned.

The relationship between the persons involved can, however, be legally relevant. The Dutch Criminal Code contains, among other things, aggravating provisions for certain forms of assault within specific family and partner relationships. In addition, the court may take into account the vulnerability of those involved, repetition and the presence of children. A specific case file therefore calls for an assessment of both the incident and the relationship between the persons concerned.

What happens after a report or police complaint

The police may speak to those involved separately, record injuries, hear witnesses and secure messages or camera footage. Depending on the suspicion and the circumstances, an arrest may follow. The police may also share information with agencies dealing with safety and support services, within the rules that apply to such sharing.

After an arrest, the incident may be investigated while it is also assessed whether continued detention is necessary and permitted. A criminal case does not have to come before a court for a substantive hearing straight away. Interviews, further investigation and decisions on pre-trial detention may come first. Read more about your rights after an arrest and the various procedural stages.

Have you merely been invited to attend the police station? An invitation does not mean that your statement will be without consequences. Ask in what capacity you are being interviewed and which suspicion the invitation relates to. The information on a police summons letter will help you prepare.

Withdrawing a police complaint does not automatically end the criminal case

For many offences that fall under domestic violence, the OM can prosecute without the complainant continuing to want a prosecution. A partner can supplement or correct an earlier statement, but does not thereby decide independently whether the case is closed. The OM makes its own assessment based on the evidence and the public interest in prosecution.

Contacting the complainant to have the case dropped is therefore unwise. It may breach a ban and may be interpreted as an attempt to influence them. The same applies to messages passed on through relatives, friends or children. Even a message that you intend as friendly may be received differently in a tense situation and become part of the case file.

If a statement contains demonstrable errors, discuss them with your lawyer. A factual response can be supported by existing messages, a timeline or other verifiable information. This keeps the focus on the content of the evidence and prevents a new dispute arising about your conduct after the incident.

A temporary exclusion order and a criminal contact ban are different

The name of a measure does not always tell you enough. Look above all at who took the decision, which legal basis is cited and how long the measure lasts.

Measure	Main purpose	What you should check
Temporary exclusion order (tijdelijk huisverbod)	Limiting immediate danger in the living situation	Home, persons, duration and the mayor’s decision
Contact ban as a criminal-law condition	Limiting risk during the criminal proceedings or probation period	Prohibited forms of contact, exceptions and the competent decision-maker
Behavioural order issued by the OM (gedragsaanwijzing)	Restricting specific conduct during the proceedings	Content, legal basis, period of validity and available remedy
Civil-law injunction	Protection through the civil courts	Scope, any penalty payment and the court decision

These measures can exist side by side. The lapse of one measure does not mean that all other restrictions disappear. So check each decision separately before you seek contact or return to the home.

How long does a temporary exclusion order last

Under the Temporary Domestic Exclusion Order Act (Wet tijdelijk huisverbod), the mayor may impose an exclusion order on an adult if their presence poses a serious and immediate danger to members of the household, or if there is a serious suspicion of such danger. A criminal conviction is not required for this.

The exclusion order initially applies for ten days. The mayor may extend it up to a maximum of four weeks from the moment it was imposed, if the threat or the serious suspicion of it continues. So it is not ten days plus four extra weeks. The decision must state, among other things, the place and the persons to which the order relates.

The order involves more than temporarily sleeping elsewhere. The law also attaches restrictions to entering the home and to contact with the members of the household concerned. So do not only ask when you may return, but also which communication is prohibited while the order is in force. Make sure you remain reachable in accordance with the statutory obligations and the instructions you have received.

Can you have an exclusion order reviewed

A temporary exclusion order can be brought before the administrative court. Because a short measure can have major consequences, the possibility of interim relief (voorlopige voorziening) is particularly relevant. Article 6 of the Temporary Domestic Exclusion Order Act provides for expedited handling for this purpose. No court fee is charged for this procedure.

Starting proceedings does not, in the meantime, give you permission to ignore the order. The decision remains the starting point until it is withdrawn, amended, suspended or lapses. Your lawyer can examine whether the facts support the assumed danger, whether the decision is adequately reasoned and what has changed since it was imposed.

New circumstances may be important, such as a demonstrably safe place to stay, a workable support plan or changed risks. A statement that everyone has calmed down again is not sufficient in itself. The information must correspond to the reason why the exclusion order was imposed. In the case of an extension, too, the continuation of the danger must be examined in concrete terms.

What are you allowed to do under a contact ban

The precise wording of your ban is decisive. A ban may cover direct contact, but also indirect contact through other people or through digital channels. Calling, sending messages, responding on social media or having someone pass on that you want to talk may therefore be prohibited. An invitation from the other person does not lift the measure.

Do you receive a message while you are not allowed to respond? Keep the message and discuss the situation with your lawyer or the supervising authority. Do not start negotiating exceptions yourself. If practical communication is necessary, it can be examined whether a formal amendment or an agreed communication channel is possible.

Also be mindful of chance encounters. Agree in advance how you will act if you run into each other at a shop, school or joint activity. Keep your distance and avoid any argument about who was there first. The most sensible approach is a workable plan that matches the exact conditions and is demonstrably complied with.

Children, belongings and joint obligations

A criminal-law measure does not automatically decide on all family-law matters. Contact arrangements, parental authority, school matters and the division of living arrangements may require a separate assessment. At the same time, an existing arrangement concerning children may not simply be carried out if that conflicts with a contact ban or exclusion order that is in force.

Make a list of urgent practical problems: essential medication, identity documents, work clothing, a laptop, pets or the handover of children. Discuss through your lawyer how these matters can be arranged safely and lawfully. Think of a permitted third party or a handover agreed in advance, but do not assume that such a solution is always allowed without permission.

Do not use children as messengers and do not ask them to gather statements. That can burden their position and complicate the investigation. Disputes about money, keys or belongings are also better handled through an appropriate professional channel as long as direct contact is not permitted. Keep confirmations of any arrangements made, so that it is clear later on what was and was not permitted.

Preparing your statement without filling in the story

As a suspect, you have the right not to answer questions about your involvement. That does not mean that remaining silent is the best choice in every case. It is important, however, that you understand what you are suspected of and that you discuss your options with a lawyer before you make a statement.

Before that meeting, write down a factual timeline. When did the conflict start? Who was present? Which actions did you see yourself and which do you only know from what others have told you? Which messages still exist? Also include information that seems unfavourable. Your lawyer can only assess your position properly if the conversation is complete and honest.

Distinguish between facts, memories and interpretations. That someone was angry in your view is something different from the precise words you heard. The fact that you yourself are injured does not automatically prove who started it or whether every reaction was justified. If self-defence may be invoked, the attack, the necessity and the proportionality of the force used must be examined in concrete terms.

Which evidence may be relevant

In domestic violence cases, statements, photographs, medical records, audio recordings, messages and observations by bystanders may together form the body of evidence. None of these categories necessarily tells the whole story. A photograph may show an injury, but does not in itself explain the time or the cause. A message sent after an incident may be open to several interpretations.

Keep existing digital data in its original context. Selecting only a few screenshots can leave out important context. Note where the original conversation is stored and whether times are visible. Do not delete anything and do not try to access another person’s accounts. Discuss any recordings or medical documents with your lawyer first before you share them.

Exculpatory evidence can also disappear. Camera footage is sometimes overwritten automatically and witnesses remember details less well over time. So pass on promptly where such information may exist. Your lawyer can assess whether a targeted request for further investigation is needed. The aim is a verifiable case file, not a public debate on social media.

Support services and your defence can go hand in hand

Seeking help with stress, substance use or recurring conflicts can be sensible, regardless of your position on the suspicion. Asking for help is not automatically a confession. Statements you make in different settings may, however, acquire legal significance. So discuss which information will be recorded and with whom it may be shared.

A concrete safety plan may also be relevant to the assessment of contact conditions or pre-trial detention. Think of a different place to stay, a fixed contact person, supervision or treatment where appropriate. The plan must be workable and aimed at the actual concerns in the case file.

A lawyer can monitor the criminal-law consequences and coordinate which other expertise is needed. This prevents you from making contradictory or unclear arrangements in different proceedings. In case of acute danger, safety comes first and you call 112. Legal discussion about the incident can then take place through the appropriate procedure.

Possible outcomes of the criminal case

An investigation may end in a dismissal (the Public Prosecution Service drops the case), an out-of-court disposal or a hearing before the court. Which route is appropriate and possible depends on the evidence, the seriousness, previous offences and personal circumstances. An initial suspicion offers no guarantee of any particular outcome.

If you receive a punishment order (strafbeschikking), assess the consequences before you accept it. It is a criminal-law decision that may affect your judicial records and a later application for a certificate of conduct (VOG). The explanation on lodging an objection to a punishment order deals with that assessment. If you receive a summons, preparing for the hearing also requires attention.

Various questions may arise in the defence: has the offence been proven, does a ground for exemption from criminal liability apply, are measures still necessary and which personal consequences should the court be aware of? Each of these issues deserves its own substantiation. Simply saying that a conviction affects your family is no substitute for a substantive response to the suspicion.

Keeping your safety arrangements and documents together

Make a single overview of all decisions in force, with the start date, end date, prohibited acts and the authority that decides on amendments. Add the practical arrangements on accommodation, children and belongings. Check whether those arrangements are compatible with each decision. An oral arrangement made within a support programme does not in itself amend a condition imposed by a court.

Also keep messages showing that you reported a problem in good time or asked for clarification. That is no substitute for compliance, but it does make it verifiable how you dealt with any lack of clarity. Pass on changes in your situation to your lawyer immediately, so that it can be assessed whether a formal request is needed. This prevents different processes from unnoticeably creating different expectations.

Frequently asked questions about domestic violence

May I return home if my partner agrees?

Not if an exclusion order in force or another measure prevents it. Your partner’s consent is no substitute for an amendment by the competent authority. First check which decisions are still in force and arrange any necessary access through your lawyer.

Does the case end if my partner withdraws the complaint?

Not automatically. For many relevant offences, the OM can prosecute independently. A supplementary statement may become part of the case file, but the complainant does not decide alone on ending the criminal case.

Can I receive an exclusion order without having been arrested?

Yes. The temporary exclusion order has its own statutory basis and is aimed at limiting serious and immediate danger. An arrest or criminal conviction is not a necessary condition for it.

May I have relatives pass on a message?

That may constitute prohibited indirect contact. The wording of the measure determines the limits. Have any necessary practical communication assessed first and use only a permitted route. Good intentions do not in themselves make contact permissible.

Does an acquittal mean that all measures lapse immediately?

That cannot be assumed as a general rule. Different measures have their own legal basis and duration. After a judgment, have it checked which decisions have ended and which measures still require a separate amendment.

How do I prepare for the first meeting with a lawyer?

Gather the police letter, any prohibition decisions, the date of an interview and a short timeline. Also note urgent matters relating to housing, children and work. Keep original messages and send documents through an agreed secure route.

Help with a suspicion and imposed conditions

In domestic violence cases, the defence and the practical consequences must be aligned from the outset. Arslan Advocaten can assess the suspicion against you, the decisions you have received and possible next steps. See our assistance in criminal law and fraud or contact us, stating any scheduled interview or hearing date.

Sources

• Temporary Domestic Exclusion Order Act (Wet tijdelijk huisverbod), in particular Articles 2, 6 and 9.
• Dutch Criminal Code (Wetboek van Strafrecht), including provisions on assault and threats.
• Dutch Code of Criminal Procedure (Wetboek van Strafvordering), rights of suspects and criminal-law measures.